Embracing your Emotional Gateway

Wouldn’t it be great if we can learn from our emotions rather than putting them aside and letting them control us or manifest themselves in our relationships or other aspects of our life? If we can learn to process and control our emotions rather than them controlling us, then maybe we can reach our full potential.

If someone of unquestionable sincerity and sound judgement were to say to you, "I love you," how would you react interiorly? Are you able to accept love happily? Can you surrender to the joy of being loved without suspicion of mistaken identity or fear of later rejection? Do you feel free about being yourself with someone who loves you, or are you careful not to disillusion that person and lose his or her love?

Sometimes we allow ourselves to experience emotions, but we cannot admit or express these feelings to others. This inhibition possibly arises from our programming, some value conflict or fear that others would not understand. Perhaps our society or the nearest group of people we know, has quarantined certain emotions out of our sight, such as feeling sorry for oneself or jealousy. For example, men are very often unable to admit fear or express tenderness. Women are often reluctant to report hostility or envy.

I have had some time to think about my 'situation'. In life, the only real mistakes we make are the ones from which we learn nothing and then, as people, we don't want to because of the pain it has caused. In the aftermath of an encounter such as I have just gone through, I have to go deep in myself, and listen carefully to the 'anger' which is gradually subsiding, and try to find an explanation as to why I reacted the way I did. All of us have something already in us that explains our emotional reactions, and this doesn't mean that what is in us is bad or regrettable. It’s me. Likewise, I may become angry at seeing a thug picking on someone.I may find that the source of my anger, the thing that is inside me, is a healthy sense of justice and compassion.

I believe that every emotional reaction of ours is telling us something about ourselves. We must learn not to shift responsibility for these reactions to others, preferring to blame them rather than to learn something about ourselves.

Bertrand Russell once said, "A man cannot possibly be at peace with others until he has learned to be at peace with himself." So, in order to love, you must first love and believe in yourself, then you can love and believe in your neighbour.

If you have a healthy love of yourself instead of hating possibly resenting yourself and feeling bad, if only you would love the inner child in you instead of despising the weakness, you would love everything around you. Don't think about it - just do it. Then you can learn to regard yourself with understanding. You can learn to enjoy being yourself. You don’t have to be anyone else.

The essential sadness of our human family is that very few of us even approach the realisation of our full potential. I accept the estimate of the theoreticians that average human beings accomplish only ten percent of their promise. They see only ten percent of the beauty in this world. They hear only ten percent of the music and poetry in the universe. They smell only a tenth of the world's fragrance and taste only a tenth of the deliciousness of being alive. They are only ten percent open to their emotions, to tenderness, to wonder and awe. Their minds embrace only a small part of the thoughts, reflections, and understanding of which they are capable. Their hearts are only ten percent alive with love. They will die without ever having really lived or really loved.

To me, this is the most frightening of all possibilities. I would hate to think that you or I might die without having really lived and really loved.

Linkedin: Connect with Erika via LinkedIn or email:erika@remoteworker.co.uk

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